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Archive for May, 2011


Choosing to See: A Journey of Struggle and Hope by Mary Beth Chapman is a very good book (see my full review here) focusing on the tragic death of their adopted daughter Maria and how the family has chosen to see God at work in all of it.  I think is a great book to read if you are considering adoption.  Mary Beth tells the story of their first adoption, and many of the emotions and fears that she experienced through the process.

She didn’t want to adopt.  It wasn’t her plan.  She had her hands full with 3 kids and a husband who was on tour much of the time.  She admits she struggled with depression and perfectionism.  She was not a candidate for adoption, in her mind.  But their daughter Emily was persistent.  Eventually they caved.

But the fears didn’t go away.  She was afraid that she would have difficulty loving this child.  Many adoptive parents have had the same fears.  I know I wondered about it, though probably not as much as she did.  But all that changed the moment she saw their new baby girl.  She tells it all better.

I didn’t travel to China, but stayed home and took care of our daughter while Amie traversed China.  But I remember driving to the airport to pick them up.  What would this little guy be like?  Would he be excited to meet this strange looking man?  Would he just be a screaming mess?

He was basically so exhausted that there was little response at the time.  I was a bit afraid as Amie decided she needed a bathroom break.  I would be alone with this stranger in the stroller.  I thought now he’d break out in tears or screams.  But he didn’t.  He was totally zoned out for his first ever ride in a car seat.  We learned that he used to ride on the driver’s lap.  That would be a big adjustment for him.

Sometimes your child, biological or adopted, drives you crazy.  But you still love them.  I can’t explain how it happens, but you love them.  Mary Beth shares her story about all those fears, and you’ll be encouraged.

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Since we are in the process of adopting, again, someone Amie knows decided to give us a book.  The Sea Chest arrived via the mail.  It has since become a favorite of the CavKids.  Maybe because it is longer than most of the other stories.  You know kids, they don’t want to go to bed.  But they love the story too.  It is a story of adoption, both unexpected and planned.

So, if you have kids who have either been adopted or expecting an adopted sibling, this may be a book worth picking up..

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You'll have to keep reading

There are a bunch of little things that don’t merit their own post, but are interesting.

First, the agency has now hired someone to teach English to the children at the orphanage.  I had asked about this a few months ago.  They wanted to do this, but didn’t have the resources yet.  There were also some more important items for them to address.  They got some donations and were able to move ahead.  This means that the older children will know at least some English before their adoption.  This should make the transition easier.

We are amending our homestudy to increase the ages of children we are interested in adopting.  Changes like that have helped us make that decision.  We were asked about our willingness to adopted a sibling group of 4.  As I thought about that just seemed to much for our circumstances.  We have the room in the house, but would need a larger van.  It would seriously increase the cost of flying ‘home’ each year, our insurance rates and food bill.  I didn’t want Amie to be responsible to get 6 kids to church each Sunday without me.  It just didn’t seem to be the right situation for us, but we trust there is a family right for them.

The agency is processing the paperwork for 10 other children at this time.  It has been held up as they had to send back to the DRC for additional paperwork.  You never know if the next CavKid(s) will be in that packet.

One of the young ladies at church will be having a bake sale to help raise awareness of international adoption and funds for our adoption.  It was a great idea.  If you happen to be in Tucson this Friday (the 13th), come to the Walmart Neighborhood Market at the corner of Oracle and Magee from 2-5.  She and her sister make some great baked goods!

Jillian Michaels, from The Biggest Loser, is in the process of adopting from the DRC.  We didn’t watch the show (the closest we come to reality TV is The Office and HGTV) but saw commercials.  I’m sure she’ll do more than yell at the kids.

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The Congo River

One of the things that drew us to the Democratic Republic of the Congo (Amie, who thinks she can’t write, is supposed to put the rest of the non-self-serving ideas up here) was the availability of baby couriers.  When you have 2 kids at home, the prospect of long trips far, far away are not exciting.  Some countries have you make 2 trips.  That airfare, accommodations, food and possibly lost wages (since it isn’t a business trip) start to add up.

The DRC initially mentioned months ago that their policy of permitting baby couriers may be coming to an end.  Actually, they ended it and got such a backlash that they spent more time considering it.  We got word yesterday that they made up their minds.

No more baby couriers.  They want at least 1 parent to present themselves to the local court and tell their story.  Thankfully, they only require 1 trip, and it is not the 5 weeks that some countries require.

Mountain Plains

Our agency has accommodations for us in the DRC, and will provide support while we are there.  Perhaps whichever one of us goes will be able to enjoy some of the beauty of the country.

When we were in the process of adopting our son from China, I was experiencing back problems.  The prospect of a long flight to collect a crying child for a really long flight was not exciting.  Amie and her friend Wendy, a former missionary to the Far East, went.  It worked great.

In the past year, my back problems seem to have been resolved sufficiently.  I’m sure my ADD will flare like nobody’s business on the flight.  I have concerns for safety should they go again.  Does Amie expect me to watch 2 kids alone the whole time she’s gone?  I might run away  :-).

So, we have one more decision to make.

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