Recently I preached on Jacob’s dust-up with God. Jacob was living in fear of his brother Esau who was coming with 400. He resorted to old patterns- scheming. He sought to appease his brother and sent his family across the river ahead of him. He spent the night alone, in the dark, until … God showed up. Jacob didn’t start the fight, God did.
In Tim Keller’s sermon on the text- An Encounter with God- he talks about how God intrudes upon our lives. He has the nerve to tell us what to do. He holds us accountable for our actions. Here he is confronting Jacob.
Steve, isn’t this an adoption blog?
Yes.
We aren’t used to such a God. We struggle with this God. We are comfortable with the God’s of our own understanding. This is a God we have to hold in reverence.
Likewise, adopted orphans usually have very little experience with men. Their care givers are predominantly women. This is good in some respects. Most predators are men. Most men they come into contract with are probably security or support personnel. They have little direct involvement from men.
Our son arrived from China and suddenly there was a man telling him what to do. An intrusive, involved man. It was completely new for him. He struggled with it. We had to establish who was in charge, that I was more than furniture or someone who hung around the fringes of his life. It took awhile, but we worked it out. He learned what a father is.
We are in the process of adopting 2 children who have probably had a similar lack of interaction with men. On the paperwork their fathers were unknown. They spent most of their lives with their mother and grandmother before they were brought to the orphanage. They probably have no idea what a father is, what a father does. They have no idea they ever needed one.
I hadn’t really put all of this together until recently. Certainly not when we had adopted Eli. Why had no one thought to tell me? This is another of the many adjustments the children go through. Children who have little to no prior relationships with men are thrust into a family led by a man. I hope I have learned from my experiences with Eli. Perhaps I might be more patient, more gentle. It is an adjustment for me, just as much as for them.
Just something to think about if you are in the process of adopting. Just something to think about if you’re praying for us.
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