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Posts Tagged ‘Paul Miller’


In a letter discussing his new Bible Study on Ruth, Paul Miller talks about “love with no exit strategy.”  That phrase is striking.  God has no exit strategy in His love for those He adopts in Christ.  He perseveres through all our rebellion, fear, lack of trust, manipulation and tantrums.  He’s in it for the long haul.

Adoption has to be like that too.  You can’t have an exit strategy, but willing to do whatever is necessary before and after the child comes home.  Just like when the child is coming from your (or your wife’s) womb.  You’re committed even though there will days when you want to be committed (to an institution).  You’ll love your kids and you’ll hate them at moments.

Amie sent me a link to someone else’s blog about their adoptions.  This summer they adopted a boy and a girl from Ethiopia.  Their newly adopted kids are older than our newest little guy will be.  We might face similar struggles with our newest little girl.  Here’s a glimpse:

Remy gave us about 12 hours of honeymooning until her terror burst onto the scene. Sometimes her fear is so palpable, it literally takes my breath away. New places: terror. New faces: total insecurity. Transitions: help us, Jesus. She has asked us every single day since July 22nd if she is going back to Ethiopia. Every. Single. Day.

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"I'm so confuuused!"

In recent weeks Amie has joined some adoption groups on-line.  We entered into the utter ambiguity of the internet.

She came across a few people who were very critical of the agency we are using for our adoption, particularly with their work in the DRC.  But when you Google the person’s name, you discover they now have their own orphan care ministry.  So, is this ministry a response to what she witnessed, or is she just running down the competition?  See the ambiguity?  Enter the confusion.

We wanted more information.  I did not want us to make a knee-jerk reaction (Jesus, we need you!).  Changing agencies meant we only had one option, the one we decided not to go with.  The other agency was used by someone Amie knows, and she was happy with it.  But it was more expensive than the one we are using.  And it was run by lawyers (sorry my lawyer friends).  We preferred to work with Christians so our values would be honored in the process.  One of the main contacts for the African program appeared to be a professing Christian.  To jump ship would be costly in terms of time and money.  We had to make sure jumping was necessary before jumping.

I am reminded of the sleepless night when Amie was pregnant.  She had an ultrasound in Winter Haven, and they determined that Jadon was way too small.  We needed to see a specialist (the next day!!), and we were scared.  We’d waited so long (not as long as Abraham and Sarah), and to think that something was seriously wrong had us on our knees in desperation.  Turned out that a more advanced ultrasound revealed that she was not dangerously small.  But the specialist remained involved to make sure nothing changed for the worse.  Jadon was barely over 5 lbs when born, but you wouldn’t know it now.

Like that day, we realized we needed more information.  We communicated with the agency, letting them know what happened.  You could tell this didn’t take them by surprise.  It was a thorn in their side- you could sense their frustration.  We were told a lawsuit was pending.  The answers to many of our questions would be answered shortly.  Okay.

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