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Posts Tagged ‘transitions’


One thing that is becoming clear to me is that Ash is nothing like Eli. We adopted Eli at 20 months and Ash at 24 months.

Oh, he’s having a blast!

One of the differences is that Eli was very timid. He was afraid of swings, for instance. He was hesitant when it came to playing at the park.

Ash is not timid, or hesitant . He not only didn’t mind the swing, but wanted me to push him as high as human possible. He doesn’t seem to be afraid of much.

They both have rather infectious smiles.

Eli has been a great big brother lately. He seems to have make enough of a transition. He was feeling displaced (normal), and missing Jadon. But he’s been looking out for Ash the last few days. Particularly at the park as Jadon seemed more focused on herself (we all have our bad days). I made sure I affirmed him. I want to encourage that good stuff.

Ash has started to “chatter”.  Jadon keeps asking Micah “Say ….”. She’s doing great, and has started to use short sentences. Jadon speaks random Lingala terms.  But Ash has joined the game, repeating various words best he can. As you might imagine, it is getting noisier here- in a good way.

But there are still times when it is hard to communicate. Or when things that shouldn’t. Micah was sad today. She can’t tell me why. It might because Jadon was crying that she didn’t have a pretty dress to wear to church. Most had been handed down to Micah. No telling how a 5 year-old interprets that. Perhaps she felt it was her fault. But she’s usually quite happy. Today, she isn’t.  And that makes me sad.

Overall the adjustment has been much easier than we expected. It has been easier than Eli’s transition, which is what set our expectations. As we keep up with other families that have adopted from the DRC in recent months, we see that we are among those who have had a pretty good transition. Some others have had more difficult transitions. It is hard bringing a new child into your home. You have no idea how they were raised so far. You have no idea of their personalities. So, there are a lot of unknowns.

But there is also the joy of new discoveries! The kids watched a movie yesterday. So it was time to make popcorn. Perhaps they have had it, but apparently they haven’t watched it being made in my old fashioned popper. It was exciting for them. I love that.

Amie found this today. Sounds like something I’d put together, lyrically. But I don’t have the technological chops to do this. But, then again, this is not just a bored set of parents. Enjoy!

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We’ve been quiet lately. For a reason.

The internet DRC adoption groups have been buzzing. We’ve tried to keep out of it. Our agency, as a result of some of what was said on these groups, made some changes in their DRC staffing. We don’t want to share accusations. That seems to be an inappropriate use of the internet. Our agency did their research, found there were significant issues with that employee’s performance and made a change.

This change has had a ripple effect. Some of the paperwork in the DRC was not done, or done properly. Others were kept in the dark by the former employee (some call it job security).

We’ve hit two bumps in the road with our adoption. While photocopying our paperwork, my administrative assistant discovered a mistake on the Act of Adoption paperwork for Asher. He was identified in both French and the English translation as “female”. We wanted the agency to get right on it, applying for a correction to the paperwork instead of hoping it isn’t noticed or deemed important enough. With all that is going on I sort of understand the resistance we’ve gotten. But … I want my kids home. Papa Bear is starting to get riled up now! I don’t want any additional delays. I want Mama Bear to head to the DRC to pick up our children. We feel like she is way pregnant and past the due date but nothing is happening.

Today we discovered that the former employee didn’t get a document stamped by the Bureau d’ Adoption. Unknown to our adoption agency, until today, we hired a consultant to help us get through the embassy appointment faster. She is the former embassy employee who did all of this work. We asked her to review our documents to make sure there would be no hold ups. If she discovered a problem, we would have time to at least get started on the solution. This would minimize any delays.

The agency recommends postponing our embassy appointment in order to get this document stamped. But this is a document for the DRC, not the U.S. Embassy. In the past, we’ve been told, they stamped document was provided after the appointment during the investigation process.

So, here we are, stuck in the middle of this increasingly Kafkaesque experience. And all we want is to have our children home. After all, it is over a week until the Embassy appointment. I’ve been patient, but I’m near the end of that patience. Perhaps the advent of monsoon season is a contributing factor. I’m sure the lack of sleep last night doesn’t hurt. But the bottom line is: we want our kids!

Thought the Jeff Healey Band version would be nice. And I spared you clips from Reservoir Dogs.

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