Archive for October, 2010

We got word yesterday, after my post on waiting, that we are no longer waiting for the fingerprints and criminal background check to be done.  That has been completed (faster than usual I suspect).  None of us are criminals (huge sigh of relief).

Now we are only waiting on the home study to be completed.  One issue with that is we still have a final payment to be made.  Waiting on the cash to come in so we can get all of this put together.


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When you are adopting a child, you spend most of your time waiting.  There are flurries of activity, but mostly you are waiting.

At the church I pastor, we are currently in the life of Abraham.  He did alot of waiting.  Many of the calls to worship I am using include the idea of waiting.  I’ve also been drawing on my lifetime of waiting (for a wife, for a child, for a call etc.).  We are currently waiting for the home study to be completed. They are waiting for the fingerprints to be processed.  So, we wait for at least another 3 weeks.  Not too long, but it just seems like nothing is happening.  Just like when God is at work while we wait.  Seems like nothing is happening, but it really is.

Tom Petty once sang, “the waiting is the hardest part”.  You’ll have to wait to hear them actually play the song.  Sorry, but it seems appropriate.

I really like the Kinks’ song, “Tired of Waiting”, though this version from my birth year is “rough”.  But in 60’s pop fashion it is under 3 minutes.

This Sunday we introduced “Everlasting God”.  The verse, adapted from Isaiah 40, declares “strength will come as we wait upon the Lord”.

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Back in January of 2008, we undertook what we called Operation Eli (follow the links to read the story).  Amie went to China while I stayed home to care for Jadon.  It was a bit tricky because we learned of their travel plans while we were in NY on vacation.  We cut our vacation short to attend to necessary details prior to departure.  It was impossible to arrive home from NY on Thursday and depart on Friday for China.  “Not gonna do it, wouldn’t be prudent at this juncture.”

Day One was a travel day.  Amie experienced delay upon delay.  Traffic jams, late flights, you name it.  It was a long stressful day.  Tampa to Detroit to Tokyo to Beijing (aka Peking).

Day Two was recovery day.  Not much happened but I’ve got updates on my in-laws journey to help me out, and a fine ale provided by my friend Danny.

Day Three was cold.  Sorry, COLD!  A huge cold front had descended upon China that would remain for her entire trip.  Other families would get stuck in northern provinces.  It was a transportational nightmare.  But this was also sightseeing day.  Amie and Wendy shivered their way through the Forbidden City.  Back home, Jadon really missed her mom.  There are some really cute stories about that.

Day Four was a Sunday so they got to worship in the International Church in Beijing.  You had to leave your passport at the door.  Then it was off to the Great Wall (I need to put a new photo up for that).  She was in town at the same time as Joe Torre and Charles Steinberg, but didn’t see them.  When Mima showed up, I was suddenly unimportant to Jadon.  There’s nothing like the power of a grandmother to sooth a child.  The Patriots won the AFC Championship game to stay perfect on the season (I refuse to think of the Super Bowl at this point!).


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I must admit.  I have not kept up with this as well as I should have.  I’m behind on the home study stuff.

I (Steve) had my second home study interview nearly 2 weeks ago.  It was the 1-on-1 interview.  So exciting.  This person does not know me, and can’t really grasp how far I’ve come.  There were plenty of questions about my family and Amie’s family.  My brothers are 5 & 6 years older than I am.  We were never very close.  So, we still aren’t close.  I can be tough to explain why I’m closer to my in-laws than my own siblings.

There were a few instances when she said, “how about some positive descriptions.”  I am not sure I was particularly negative, just realistic.  We had the same issue when I described Eli.  It didn’t help that since we’d gotten back from NY, Eli and I have had a difficult relationship (it has gotten much better since the interview).  So the whole interview was relatively unpleasant on my end.  You’d think I didn’t like anybody.


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One of the newer books on adoption out there is Russell Moore’s Adopted for Life: The Priority of Adoption for Christian Families & Churches.  Moore is the Dean of Theology at Southern Seminary, as well as a preaching pastor.  He is an adoptive father.

Most books about adoption that I’ve read are either about the adoption process (including trying to encourage people to adopt) or about the doctrine of adoption as an aspect of our salvation.  This book is about both, which is both its strength and weakness.

It is a strength because the church desperately needs to see the connection between the two.  Since we’ve been adopted by God, we reveal much of the gospel as we adopt children who have no status, stability and inheritance.  Moore does a great job of working through much of the doctrine of adoption.

He also shares his struggles in deciding to adopt, the process and then parenting 2 boys.  He wrestled with pride in many forms all through the process.  He paints a realistic picture of international adoption though he also addresses issues regarding domestic adoption.  Some of our experiences were the same, others were quite different.

For instance, he relates how his boys had never seen the sun or ridden in a car until they drove away from the orphanage.  Our son was quite familiar with cars.  It was car seats that he had no experiential knowledge of.  He was used to sitting on the driver’s lap.  That was quite an adjustment for the little guy.

This strength is also a weakness at times since he flits back and forth.  It wasn’t confusing, just irritating.  It was like he kept changing subjects.

Another minor weakness was the length of the chapters.  As a father, I found it difficult to read at times due to the time commitment for a chapter.  I like to read whole chapters, a practice that causes no small amount of frustration for Amie.

Another strength to the book was his interaction with the naysayers in the world.  He didn’t pretend they didn’t exist.  In some cases he revealed their presuppositions which point them there (Darwinism and eugenics for instance).  In other cases he returned to the sufficiency of the gospel.  Adopting is abit counter-cultural (aside from the glam factor for celebrities these days- not all of them, just the ones who draw lots of attention to themselves in the process).  The gospel is typically counter-cultural, particularly in trans-racial adoptions like ours.

Adopted for Life is well worth reading for those considering adoption or who want to help those who do.  He helps people understand how important adoption is in the history of redemption (stories, not just ‘doctrine’).    He longs to see the church return to the days when it took in the most helpless of society because God has a heart for the helpless.  This is an important issue, far more important than if you are a hipster Christian or whether or not all Reformed churches should be monolithic in doctrine and practice.  Adoption is, simply put, a gospel issue.  As a gospel issue, it requires our attention.

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